being open, after all, means being available, exposed, free.
*free to discover joy and love, yet, free to face all of those fear or pain or even rejection*
open = a giant risk.
but the closed one, for me, is an even big big big BIG risk.
so many stuff on my head rite now, which has become like one massive oh-this-is-my-own-adventure book,
the thing is i can't cheat by opening the back page or just the good plot.
Such as job story, love story, move here, move there, chance for travel from one city to another, opportunities that come and go, etc.
and i (still) stand in that place, for being skeptical. think about every option, wondering,
whether i could possibly have the power to rebuild my sandcastle again.
the point is, i've been there before. same situation. i've faced choices, and (sometimes) made the wrong one.
I mean, opened our hearts to new people, new places and new opportunities only to be hurt or disappointed or refused.
so open doesn't feel that easy.
In fact, it feels absolutely terrifying.
the pic taken from here
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