hello (not) goodbye.

miss this place.

miss the feeling.

hello, I'm back :)

here it goes.

opening your heart is not a simple task to do.

being open, after all, means being available, exposed, free.

*free to discover joy and love, yet, free to face all of those fear or pain or even rejection*

open = a giant risk.

but the closed one, for me, is an even big big big BIG risk.

so many stuff on my head rite now, which has become like one massive oh-this-is-my-own-adventure book,

the thing is i can't cheat by opening the back page or just the good plot.

Such as job story, love story, move here, move there, chance for travel from one city to another, opportunities that come and go, etc.

and i (still) stand in that place, for being skeptical. think about every option, wondering,

whether i could possibly have the power to rebuild my sandcastle again.

the point is, i've been there before. same situation. i've faced choices, and (sometimes) made the wrong one.

I mean, opened our hearts to new people, new places and new opportunities only to be hurt or disappointed or refused.

so open doesn't feel that easy.

In fact, it feels absolutely terrifying.

the pic taken from here

being honest.

people's opinion is getting very very irritating this time.

*insecure attack*

where to run??

nowhere close.

:)

dasar. sekolah dasar. dasal kamuh.

suka fotonya :) (photo courtesy of Qisthas)

Mungkin gak yang kita cari sama?? Gak mungkin yah? "Dasal kamuh!"

kamu sabun, sembarangan, gamau ngalah, geblek, (lagi-lagi) sabun.

....

tapi aku seneng.

Meskipun konteks seneng (itu) gak harus kaya keadaan dulu.

lalu?

......

(Muka datar, tidak bergeming, kunyah-kunyah sugus)

hahahahaha, dasal kamuh! habis ini kita nonton film apalagi?? *smokescreen*

..

Seberapa jauh perbedaan kita dalam memandang hidup..

kamu lewat lensa otak normal hidup sukses-mu, aku lewat lensa bodoh2an tanpa henti-ku..

(Lagi-lagi) aku iri.. Dasal kamuh!!

....

Yah, masi ada movie marathon setiap bulannya,

masi ada kumpul rame-rame,

masi ada sushi yang bisa dimakan,

apa ada sugus yang entah kemana rimbanya??

....

kita (bisa) ketemu, duduk lebih lama.

Bicara tentang hal-hal yang berbeda, dan bersyukur atas apa yang ada.

Kita terus bersyukur ya, gaboleh berhenti. Kita ini cukup beruntung, bisa nonton film setiap ada film baru *gapenting ya*, bisa komunikasi non-verbal lewat benda yang judulnya 'smartphone' yang konon harganya mahal *emang mahal nyeng!!*, di sebuah kota yang kelewat amburadul-macetnya kaya setan-bakalan banjir, untuk terus ada buat sabun-isasi satu sama lain :)

kamu jangan marah ya sama kata2 aku diatas, *eh tapi gpp deh marah, penasaran, ayo marah*

Untuk bersikap bodo amat, biasa saja. Rasanya butuh waktu :)

dasal kamuh!

clumsy me.

let me tell you,

Nov 20, 2010 09:44: @doozlederry: Never good with wrap up a gift.

but i've made it. yeeeaaay!

THEN SUDDENLY....

Nov 21, 2010 00:03 : @doozlederry: Beneran kebalik nih otaknya. Kadonya ud kebungkus. Tiba2 kepikiran 'isinya udah gw masukin belom yah?!' #fail http://plixi.com/p/58084509

anti bodoh.

frankly.

i found myself chasing after something that has left by me, then i ask myself why.

i've made conscious choice to leave, why would i want them back? it's hard to believe.

let go. let it go. if it comes back. then it'll stay for good.

is it that simple?

like my friend ever said "sunday mor(o)ning"

can you live by getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night?? awful instead of awesome. *krik*

then woke up just because you've had a bad dream.

GAAAAAH! how could that happen to me?!

drowning. swimming pool. can't breath. what a dream.

too much think. too much plan. too much 'dream'. too much phony-baloney stuff, blah blah blah, and so on, before sleep. and when i woke up. why?

i guess i have to stop asking myself why.

(again) standing between those line. am i?

i wish for a moment that i could push that pause button. and still drowning.

every hour every daaaaaaaay.

cheers. pint by pint. glass per glass. shot by shot. DIE. DIE

daytime mind.

menyempurnakan setengah dari agama.

sebuah wacana hebat, dengan pola pikir tergesa-gesa.

Tuhan, jadikan saya orang yang sabar. Amin.

i feel it all - feist

I enjoy being attached and unattached at the same time. (go figure).

what a rough month. too many stuff about love affair. i just don't get it. as the matter of fact, am sick of it. define affair. somebody. please.

too soon.

tiba-tiba saya ingin menikah.

terlepas dengan semua masalah yang ada akhir2 ini,

terlepas saya yang masih suka egois dan seenaknya, masih seperti bocah.

terlepas dengan semua trauma yang mengakibatkan saya harus hana-hini dengan orang terdekat saya.

tapi saya ingin menikah, hmmm..

day 02

picture what u wore today..

sebuah pemikiran yang didapat berdasarkan pengalaman

.manusia itu terbatas kapasitasny.

okay

everything will be okay

at the end.

if it's not okay

it's not the end.

(unknown)

rainy day

hujan,tpi panas...

aneh bgt, bner2 bikin bengek kumat....sialan!!

Pagi ini berangkat dari kosan Dhea, uda kena ujan, sebenerny bukan ujan si, tpi cuma gerimis kecil yang gabrenti2....

akibatnya sekarang plu berkepanjangan, sakit kepala..

di kantor seperti biasa...

hanya maen didepan laptop, berbicara dgn pacar melalui teknologi yg disebut messenger...berceloteh bersama Tie

kmudian bermain sampai sore..horeee

what a rainy day.....!

first posting..

first posting..

punya blog untuk berbagi..biar semua orang tau..

tpi berbagi apa???